When my buddy Carl told me he had to bring something to a bake sale at his kid’s school, I was immediately concerned. Partly because he doesn't strike me as a baker, but mostly because I didn’t know he had kids, and the idea of a bunch of little Carls running around scares the crap out of me.

He said he was going to bring a box of doughnuts, because the last time he tried to make brownies he almost burned his house down. I jokingly suggested he take a cooler full of Evil Twin’s Imperial Doughnut Break Porter instead. It’s made with real doughnuts after all.

No, seriously — mad beer scientist Jeppe teamed up with the malt masters at Westbrook to make the much loved Imperial Biscotti Break, but this time they added an evil amount of actual doughnuts to it. I swear those guys are as crazy as Carl, who, by the way, took me seriously and showed up to the bake sale with a cooler of Doughnut Break.

Carl claims he didn’t realize the event was geared towards children, despite the fact that it took place at his own kids’ elementary school. Apparently he was pouring the jet black brew into dixie cups and charging two bucks a pop. He called them ‘doughnut shooters.’

Of course, the other parents completely flipped out. And rightfully so. Selling beer at a school bake sale would be idiotic even if it wasn’t illegal, which it definitely is. Carl says they were threatening to call the cops… until one of the soccer dads tried it. Then they all shut up and got busy drinking.

Of course they did! It’s freakin’ awesome! The doughnuts add a bready backbone that mingles perfectly with flavors of chocolate, vanilla and almond, and there’s just enough bitter coffee to cut the sweetness and balance things out. It’s almost like dunking a doughnut into an Americano. And I’m sure the 11.5% ABV helped soothe the nerves of all those formerly pissed-off parents.

Carl sold out of doughnut shooters in 15 minutes. He made a bunch of money for the school’s PTA, too. And he already got more Doughnut Break for the next bake sale, which the other parents have asked him to host. Adults only this time.

Rated 4.19 on BeerAdvocate; 4.09 on Untappd

Packaged On October 1st, 2018