“Do you know why I pulled you over today? ‘Cause I saw that beer in your backseat is called Supah Troopah — you know, mocking a police officer will put you on the fast track to ‘Behind Barsville,’ if you catch my drift.

“And are you kidding me right now? This NE-style IPA is whirlpooled with papaya powered Ekuanot and floral & citrusy Centennial Hops, AND THEN dry-hopped with orange lemonade-like Amarillo, the dank resin of Simcoe, AND lime and passionfruit-y Citra?!

“Gawd-damn it! Beer shouldn’t be this fruity! You’re walking on thin ice right now, do you hear me?! Alright, step outta the car and lemme see that can again. Who makes this brew? True Respite! Holy crap, I should have known as soon I smelled the stuff all the way back from my motorcycle. 

“Are you aware that this brewery is on the most wanted list for running off with a huge stack of IPA medals at the Maryland Beer Competition?!

“I’ll tell you what, you’re really walking the line today, buster. Technically, you haven’t broken any laws — so I’m letting you go with just a warning. Just make sure you get this hazy juice you call ‘beer’ out of my face ASAP.

“Because if you don’t get rid of it, all hell will break loose as soon as the rest of the craft beer trouble-makers catch wind that there’s some available. And I don’t have time to handle all that paperwork!”