I crouched behind the bushes, breathing heavily as beads of sweat ran down my back. Behind me, I could hear them approaching — three bloodthirsty zombies, shuffling across the pavement and moaning wordlessly.

I had managed to outrun them for now, but I knew it was only a matter of time before they found me, and I was zombie lunch.

Suddenly, I was struck by a brilliant idea — why not distract them with a can of Oops! All Berries Braaaaaaaains? Zombies can’t resist the sweet, juicy flavors of real strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries — especially when we’re talking about over 100 lbs of fruit per barrel! 

Maybe I could toss one into the middle of the street, and while they were fighting over this thick, berrylicious smoothie, I could make a run for it!

I reached into my backpack and pulled out a can. But, as I held it in my hands, I felt an unexpected sting of remorse. The words of other Sour lovin’ craft fans echoed in my head:

• “Perfect example of a smoothie sour!” @Jake V.
• “Gimme all the berries! Delicious!” @Sara L.
• “Best Braaaaaaains yet.” @Zach H.

Could I do it? Was I really going to sacrifice my only can of Oops! All Berries Braaaaaaaains, knowing that I couldn’t find this beer anywhere outside of the Midwest, and that Drekker might never brew it again?

“Nope — not today, you flesh-hungry beasts!” I thought. Instead, I shoved the beer back into my backpack, and made a mad dash for my life. The zombies might eventually tear me to shreds, but I was going down in a blaze of berry-filled glory.

Rated 4.32 on Untappd